Traditional Xmas pub fights banned ‘in case they offend Muslims’
Barmy ‘Equality Officers’ at Brent Council have outlawed the age-old British tradition of Christmas pub punch-ups in case the practice offends ‘those of faiths other than Christianity’. ‘It’s political...
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Saudi Arabia bans the wearing of berets and strings of garlic
France is up in arms today after learning that the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is to introduce a ban against the wearing in public places of berets, stripy black-and-white tops and strings of pungent bulbs...
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Britain ‘comes out’ as openly racist
In a move that stunned many of the country’s fans, Britain today issued a formal statement saying it was coming out as openly racist. Giving his reaction to the UK’s ‘outing’, President Obama simply...
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Donald Trump holds back
Friends and supporters of the presidential candidate have expressed concern that Mr. Trump is watering down his message of ‘love and liberal building regulations’ in order to position himself only...
View ArticleMuslim leaders call for ban on men with comb-overs entering US
Muslim leaders in America have called for a temporary ban on men with comb-overs from entering the country after statistics revealed that of the 13,000 deaths involving guns so far this year over 500...
View ArticleMPs condemn Trump to wander the earth forevermore
The debate on whether Donald Trump should be banned from entering the UK has ended with MPs casting a spell which will see the property tycoon roam the earth among the festering ranks of the undead...
View ArticleMan has shock plans to enjoy Easter without getting angry
A Norwich man has caused shock and outrage by announcing his plan to enjoy a forthcoming religious holiday without getting angry. In his controversial proposal, Jim Bamford, 35, said he was ‘looking...
View ArticleMelanie Phillips appointed as Middle East peace envoy
Reaching out with love, The Times journalist has been nominated to bring peace and understanding to war-torn regions and a ‘big bag of s.t.f.u.’ for the people of Palestine. After the success of Tony...
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